Episode 163: 7 Reasons You're Struggling with Consistency
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Summary
Does this sound like you, "I know what to eat, I know how to exercise, I just can't stick with it!"
If so, you are not alone. Consistency is probably the single biggest thing women are struggling with when they come to me, and it is the single most important thing if you want results.
But when talking about consistency, almost every woman I know says, "I just can't stay motivated long enough."
And I'm here to tell you, motivation has nothing - and I do mean nothing - to do with it.
Which is why today I'm sharing the 7 biggest blocks to your consistent habits. And yes, relying on motivation is one of them!
1. Your only goal is weight loss.
Having a weight loss goal isn't a bad thing. But if it is the only reason you're changing your habits, you're not going to stay consistent for long.
Because while it might sound really nice to have a bikini bod that you can show off at the beach, that image probably isn't going to override the desire to scarf down a pizza at the end of a really stressful day, or to get shit-faced with your friends at happy hour.
Plus, even if it is enough to drive your habits now, shortly after you hit your weight loss goal, the carrot you've been striving for will be gone and the stick of being uncomfortable in your body will be gone. Poof goes your motivation and up goes the scale.
You can't just rely on the eventual gratification of having a lean body, you need to create short-term gratification, which leads to our next point...
2. You're following diet plans and workout regimens that you hate.
How many times have you followed super restrictive diet plans that have you cutting out your favorite foods or leave you starving?
I know the thought process: If I can just stick with this long enough to lose the weight, then I'll be able to keep it off!
But what's going to happen as soon as you hit that goal? You're going to go right back to your old habits, and therefore right back to your old body.
3. You're trying to change too much, too fast.
As George Leonard says, "Resistance is proportionate to the size and speed of change." The bigger than changes, the bigger the resistance and the easier you'll fall back into old patterns.
This is the reason that 99% of the time diets don't work. They don't take the actual science of behavior change into account! In order for our brains to latch on to a new habit, we can't overwhelm it.
Think about it like working out. If you've never worked out before and you go into the gym and try to lift 50 pounds, you're going to get debilitatingly sore at best, and injured at worst. Either way, you're not going to be able to work out again for a good amount of time. And working out sporadically will never get you to a consistent routine.
You have to start slow and small, doing simple body weight exercises until they feel doable, then slowly increasing weight and complexity over time.
Remember, it is the little things you do most of the time that have a way bigger impact than the big things you do some of the time.
4. You're hung up on what the scale says.
There are so many things about this that are messing you up.
- The scale is not a good representation of body composition at all. The woman is the same weight in both photos below.
- A million things can affect the scale that has nothing to do with fat gain: stress, a hard workout, eating bit more carbs or salt than usual, not enough sleep, not enough water, hormonal fluctuations, etc.
- The scale doesn't take into account all the other signs that show what you're doing is working: more energy, higher sex drive, better sleep, more strength/endurance, a better mood, improved digestion, clearer skin, fewer PMS symptoms etc.
- And finally, just looking at the scale means you're too focused on the outcome. As James Clear says, "It doesn't matter how successful or unsuccessful you are right now. What matters is whether your habits are putting you on the path toward success. You should be far more concerned with your current trajectory than with your current results."
5. You're planning your habits based on your best day, not based on your typical day.
Yeah sure, when you have all the time, energy, and motivation in the world you might be able to cook every meal, workout for 60 minutes, and have the willpower to say no to all sweets.
But those days are few and far between. Most days you are likely busy, or tired, or overwhelmed, or stressed out, or some combination of all 4.
Knowing that, choose your habits accordingly.
Because when you set your expectations too high and you constantly can't meet them, you are chipping away at your confidence in your ability to change and you are getting more and more in the habit of breaking promises to yourself.
6. You aren't addressing your mindset.
I recently had a new client send me this message, "I am honestly struggling a bit to keep implementing the healthier options. And it's hard not to get frustrated. I know what I'm supposed to do and eat, mostly, but I just can't seem to make myself stick to it."
And the first thing I asked her was, "What beliefs do you have around healthy eating?"
Most of us have been raised in a culture that associates healthy eating with dieting. So the connotations our brain has made with healthy choices are boring, stressful, restrictive, we have to miss out on fun, it's a chore.
No wonder we don't want to keep doing it day in and day out.
So if we're ever going to be consistent, we have to create new connotations in our brain that paints our healthy habits in a more positive, enjoyable light.
7. You're relying on motivation.
Motivation will never be consistent. Period. It is fleeting, and for many of us rare.
If you look at anyone who is successful in business, in health, in anything, none of them will point to motivation as their secret power.
Instead they hone their discipline and focus on daily habits (you know, those actions you do without thinking about it).
Now I know none of this is easy. Everything in our culture screams at us to lose weight, do it fast, and if you can't do it perfectly you're a failure.
Which is why I want to invite you to not do this alone. It is a hard enough journey as it is, made only harder by a million experts throwing different advice at you on the daily.
I'm here to give you the accountability, the hand-holding, the encouragement, and the step-by-step guidance you need to be successful at this. And I promise, you can be successful at this.
Click here to book a free consultation and let's chat about your options!
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