Episode 165: 4 Mindset Mistakes That Are Actively Halting Your Progress
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Summary
I've said it before and I'll say it a thousand more times...
In the game of health and weight loss, your mindset will fuck you up more than a cheat day ever will.
How you speak to yourself, how you perceive setbacks, how you think about obstacles, and what you focus on is the difference between you taking another step forward or quitting.
It's the difference between you staying consistent or swinging from one extreme to another.
It's the difference between you feeling grateful when you finally hit that finish line or still not feeling like enough.
So with that, let's get into the 4 mindset mistakes that are holding you back.
1. You find a problem for every solution instead of finding a solution for every problem.
I can tell you every single client I have ever had fits into one of these 2 categories. And it is the kiss of death when I work with someone who is constantly finding reasons that a suggestion or idea won't work.
This shouldn't be a huge shock, right? If you're looking for every hole in a strategy, you're not going to bother trying any strategy and you'll end up sitting on the sideline, stuck as you are.
If you want to be successful, you have to engage. You have to try things, lots of things, some things multiple times over. You have to get down in the mud and fall and learn. That is how you move forward.
2. You're holding onto the story of "I can't lose weight. I'll never be healthy. It doesn't matter what I do, nothing ever works for me."
There are endless stories of the power our thoughts have over our body...
- There was a man who was told he had 3 weeks to live because he had terminal cancer. He died in 2 weeks, only for the doctors to realize they were looking at the wrong person's labs. The man who died had nothing wrong with him.
- There was the man who was in a drug trial, got in a fight with his girlfriend, downed a bottle of pills and ended up in the ER with all the signs of an overdose. Only to find out he was in the placebo group and had taken sugar pills.
- There are the 70 year olds who were put into a camp for 2 weeks where they were told to talk and act like they were in their 50's. All around them the tv shows, the newspapers, the radio stations all reflected that time. After those 2 weeks, every sign of aging they measured had significantly improved (eye sight, hearing, balance, endurance, strength, mobility, cognitive function, memory, and more).
Even think about it in your day to day life. If you think about a fight, your heart might start to race. If you think about something that makes you nervous your gut may twist. If you think about sex you may get hard or wet.
The point is your body listens and responds to your thoughts. And if you're constantly thinking that nothing works for you, guess what. Nothing is going to work for you.
3. You take setbacks and mistakes personally.
This is a matter of expectation. In no area of our life do we expect to be mistake-free except, it seems, when it comes to our diet and exercise routine.
And when we have this expectation of perfection and inevitably don't meet it, we feel like a failure. We get down on ourselves, or worse, punish ourselves for messing up. And it makes us not want to get back up and try again (because who wants to endure feeling like a failure again and again).
Instead, we need to view the stumbles we experience as inevitable, natural, and valuable. Every time we fuck up it's a chance for us to learn what doesn't work for us, what triggers us, and if reflected on, what we can do differently next time.
But if you're so busy beating yourself up over it, you'll miss out on collecting those golden nuggets that really are the key to your success.
4. You try to scold yourself into action.
I saw a horrific post on social media this week.
It was a coach who basically said you should feel ashamed and embarrassed for being fat or obese, and how her body used to make her sick to look at. And that was her battle cry!
That was the message she used to try to motivated the masses. And all I could think was, "Your trauma is showing..."
Because anyone who knows anything about the psychology of behavior change knows that shaming and blaming ourselves is the quickest way to shut us down, make us feel discouraged, and cause us to quit when we experience any evidence that supports our feelings of worthlessness.
I always go back to the analogy of a child. If a little kid is trying to achieve a goal and all along the way you berate them, make fun of them when they struggle, and focus on all the things they aren't doing well, that kid probably is going to quit.
On the other hand, if you encourage them, help them up when they fall, and focus on all of the little things they're excelling at, that kid is going to go far.
Spoiler: You are the little kid. And you need encouragement, love, and support from yourself. Not derision.
Of course changing your mindset is much easier said than done. Usually we're dealing with decades of limiting beliefs that have been carved deep into our psyche.
But that doesn't mean it's impossible. It just means you may need some support along the way in order to stick with it long enough to make the changes last.
And that's what I'm here for. I have many ways of working with me, one of which, I am sure, is perfect to meet you where you're at. All you have to do is click here to book a free consultation with me and I'll be happy to get to know you and your goals and point you in the right direction!
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