Episode 173: 13 Habits to Improve Your Self Esteem - Part 2
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Summary
Last week we started on this list of habits that will drastically increase your confidence (without having to see a certain number on your scale).
If you haven't read/listened to that episode yet, click here to pop over and start there as we do talk about some important pre-habit activities that will make these tips much more effective for you!
If you did tune in last week, you're ready to dive right in!
7. Take a social media break.
You already know this, but we all need the reminder. Social media causes you to compare all your messy highs and lows to someone else's highlight reel.
You aren't seeing the photos in bad lighting, when they're feeling bloated, when their cellulite is showing.
Just last week I saw a photo of a fitfluencer posing and twisting to show off her big booty and tiny waste. But when you zoomed in enough, you could see the lining of the butt pad she had used.
Say it with me: social. media. isn't. real.
There are poses, lighting, filters, editing apps, and straight up lies on social media (I think we've all seen the beautiful, happy couple photos and then a month later you find out they're getting divorced).
All of this to say, if you want to protect your mental health and boost your self esteem, take a social media break and immediately unfollow or mute accounts that make you feel like shit.
8. Challenge your inner critic. Constantly.
This is the number one thing I do to train my brain to have more positive, helpful thoughts.
It's like I have a little bouncer in my head, checking thoughts at the door and if they don't serve me, I turn them away. Every once in a while one will sneak through, but it doesn't take long for my little bouncer to realize what's happened and throw that bad thought out.
And for the record, this isn't about toxic positivity where you're trying to mute any negative emotion you have. This is understanding that thoughts (particularly the thoughts you have about your looks, your worth, etc) are completely subjective.
There is no 'truth' here. It's just the truth you choose to believe. So I choose to negate those negative thoughts and call them out for the mean little liars they are, and lean into more positive thoughts that build me up.
9. Challenge yourself... but not too much.
Think about the last time you did something that was scary, or challenging, or difficult and you succeeded. From that experience you gained pride, resiliency, and evidence that you are capable of doing hard things. These are the cornerstones of confidence.
And none of those can be honed in our comfort zone.
That being said, there is a balance here.
Let's say you haven't worked out in years and you have a goal to make fitness a part of your life again.
Challenging yourself to 15 minutes of movement per day until it feels easy and then building on that is a challenge that is outside of your comfort zone, but it also is realistic considering where you're starting.
On the flip side, if you decided to challenge yourself to super intense, hour-long workouts 5 days per week, that is not going to add to your confidence. You're going to feel weak, sore, and because the habit isn't sustainable you'll quit, causing your confidence to crumble.
10. Embrace discomfort.
All of these habits are simple. But they aren't easy.
It's uncomfortable to change, even when the change is for the better.
It's going to feel super weird, awkward, and uncomfortable for you to think highly of yourself, to give yourself grace, to stop focusing on all of your flaws.
But there's no getting around it, discomfort is where change happens.
And the more you can learn to tolerate discomfort, the more risks you'll be willing to take, and the farther you'll go.
11. Do things you're good at. Competence = confidence.
Yes it's great to challenge yourself. But that doesn't mean you should spend all your time struggling through the next obstacle.
Do things that come easy to you, show off a bit, be the expert in something. Even though we don't want to rely on the praise of others, getting validation for our talents definitely can help give us a nice confidence boost.
12. Reward your efforts. Not just your achievements.
I teach this to my weight loss clients all the time. If you only ever celebrate yourself when the scale goes down, that's a recipe for getting down on yourself often.
Because generally speaking we can't control the outcome of almost anything. All we can control is our effort.
So celebrate when you show up to the gym even though you didn't feel like it. Celebrate that you drank water instead of your usual coke at lunch. Celebrate that you tried a new healthy recipe and it came out freaking delicious.
And don't just do this with your health, do it with everything. Be proud of showing up. Because as we all know, that's the hardest part.
13. Take care of your body.
Our mind and body are inextricably linked. And if you are abusing your body by feeding it junk all the time, living a sedentary life, not getting enough water, depriving it of sleep, starving it, putting it through fad diets, smoking, drinking too much, etc. you are making a statement to your brain that you are not worthy of being taken care of.
And how in the world are you going to feel confident if you don't feel worthy of something as basic as health?
Love your body, not by hitting a certain weight, but by taking actions every day that show you give a shit about the home you'll have for the rest of your life.
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