Episode 182: Sacred Singlehood with Relationship and Trauma Specialist Laura Martin
Listen In
Summary
Raise your hand if...
- You hate being single.
- Online dating feels like a slog.
- You're getting pessimistic about whether or not you'll find someone.
- You loath the thought of going on another first date.
- You're anxious about finding your partner.
- You find yourself repeating unhealthy patterns in your relationships.
Over the past 2.5 years I have felt almost all of these at one point or another.
Until my friend invited me to a private speakeasy event that was hosted by none other than Laura Patricia Martin, trauma and relationship expert.
This was unlike any 'mix and mingle' or networking event I had ever gone to. After everyone was settled with their drinks, we all sat around the room and talked. Like really talked about love, dating, and relationships... the good, the bad, and the ugly.
And in that talk, Laura shared 3 pieces of wisdom that have stuck with me ever since:
1. If you don't like dating in Dallas, you won't like dating anywhere.
This came at a time when I was genuinely thinking about moving to New York because I was so sick of feeling utterly stuck here in Dallas.
Laura gave me the important reminder that dating can be hard anywhere, or it can be fun as hell anywhere. It's about the energy and the perspective you bring to the table.
And no matter how hard you try to escape the process, it still is going to be there waiting for you. Just like in health and wellness there are no shortcuts.
2. You will be married for decades. You only get to be single for a short while, so enjoy it while it lasts.
This one was huge for me. I spent a lot of my days absolutely resenting being single. And while I still have my days, I remind myself of all the wonderful things that come with singlehood.
I can go wherever I want, whenever I want. I get to decorate my home exactly how I like it. I'm not responsible for anyone other than myself (and my dog). I can play whatever music or watch whatever show I'm in the mood for. And the list goes on!
And I know there will be a time when I'm married with kids where I'll look back at this time in my life with tons of nostalgia.
3. Stop going into dates worried about what they'll think about you. Instead turn your focus inward and pay attention to how your central nervous system is responding to this person.
This advice has completely changed the way I date, and honestly the way I gage relationships in general.
Laura had us think about how we feel in our body when we are totally at ease, feeling completely safe and relaxed. My shoulders were relaxed, my stomach felt calm, and my brain felt quiet.
She then had us think about how our body feels when we're stressed. Usually there's a lot of tension in my neck and shoulders, tightness in my throat, racing thoughts, and my stomach twists.
Now when I'm on a first date, I pay attention to whether or not this person makes me feel calm or anxious in my body and that's a huge factor in whether I go out with them again or not.
Now we're here, months after that event and I am thrilled to call Laura a close friend and to have her sharing even more of her incredible wisdom on this podcast.
Today we dive into questions like...
- What is your number one piece of advice for someone who is single and looking right now?
- What are some of the biggest mistakes you see people make when it comes to dating?
- How does past trauma impact our dating experiences and relationships?
- What are your thoughts on online dating?
If you love the conversation I had with Laura as much as I did, you can get more of her at @laurapatriciamartin on Instagram!
------------------------------------
Let's Chat!
If you're loving these episodes, you'll love the customized advice you'll get on a free 'Kickstart Your Weight Loss' call with me! Click here to schedule yours now 😉
Hot News & Deals!
Click here to book a complimentary consultation if you want to lose weight and keep it off without restrictive dieting!
Ready to say goodbye to stubborn weight, uncontrollable cravings, emotional eating, and tummy 'fluff'? Click here to get on the waitlist for Follow Your Gut!!
Can't get enough health and fitness inspo?
Follow me on Instagram, TikTok, or join my #badasswarrior tribe in my free Facebook group!
Want to be reminded when a new episode airs? Click here to subscribe for reminders!
Your daily discount!
Click here to get 15% off your first Fre Skincare Set! It's designed for skin that sweats.
The owner of this website may receive compensation for recommendations made in reference to the products or services on this website. This compensation may be in the form of money, services, or complimentary products and could exist without any action from a website visitor. Should you purchase a product or service that was recommended by this website, it is understood that some form of compensation might be made to the website owner. For example, if you click on an affiliate link at this website and then make a purchase of the recommended product or service, the website owner may receive compensation.
The information shared in this blog and podcast are intended for informational purposes only. They are not meant to diagnose, treat, or cure any health conditions and you should always consult your healthcare provider before making any changes to your diet or exercise routine.
