Do you ever feel like everything in your life is coming up roses, but there's that one thing just that one little thing that you can't seem to conquer no matter how hard you try?
And the discomfort of that stuck-ness, of that frustration has you wanting to reach for anything that will give you a nice little dopamine hit: food, social media, alcohol, anything that can stop you from feeling like you want to crawl out of your skin.
Well, that was me last week.
I told my therapist recently that I've never been happier in my entire life. Business is going well, I'm close to graduating from nutrition school, I have the best group of friends in the world and we regularly get into really fun adventures, my body is consistently healing... BUT.
I'm 31 and single.
And here's the thing, for long periods of time I'm ok with that fact. I'm fulfilled by everything else in my life, and I know that piece is on its way.
But other times it hits me, and it hits me hard. I'm alone.
I remember having a conversation with my mom a few weeks ago about it and she said, "I think there's a lesson you have to learn before you'll meet your person."
Eyes wide I said, "I used to think so too, but I'm at an absolute loss.
First I thought it was because I was a workaholic - so I had no time or energy for another person in my life. Went to therapy, fixed that.
Then I thought it was that I needed to be comfortable being alone. Got myself as happy as I've ever been alone.
Then I thought maybe I needed to heal my body first, to not put that burden on someone else. Done with that.
Then I thought maybe I need to work on my communication and verbalizing my wants and desires. Finally started feeling comfortable enough in my skin to do so.
Then I thought maybe I just need to go out more and stop relying on the apps. I'm out 4 nights a week - nothing.
I've done the meditations, the journaling, the therapy, the self work, and I have no idea what else there is for me to do."
So last week it came to head. Someone I really liked (finally) moved to London, and the stuck-ness, the frustration, the disappointment was overwhelming. I felt so unsettled in my body - jittery, anxious, angry, sad - it all felt like it was physically bubbling under the surface of my skin.
And in the past, my only course of action would be to binge. Food was my salve and my salvation.
This time, food didn't even cross my mind. I needed movement. Like big, explosive movement. And loud music. And a damn good cry.
So I did it. I took myself through a killer plyometric workout, put on a playlist that made me feel powerful, and I ended with the most cathartic cry.
And then I was done. The icky feelings were gone.
And that's the magic of allowing negative feelings and moving through them instead of trying to repress them with things like junk food.
Repressing only extends the hurt, the pain, and the discomfort. But when you feel them fully, they're able to wash over you like a wave.
Which is why I wanted to share some different ways you can effectively expel that negative energy in a way that is healthy, and that feels damn good.
1. Cry.
There was a study where they looked at the chemical make up of different types of tears (tears from laughter, dry eyes, and sadness) and they found that tears from sadness actually contained cortisol. In other words we literally release stress hormones from our body when we cry.
2. Sing.
Singing loudly and humming intensely activates the vagus nerve which sends signals to your body to slow your heart rate, lower your blood pressure, and relax.
3. Dance.
It's a fun, creative way to release pent up emotions while increasing happiness hormones like dopamine.
4. Orgasm.
It releases oxytocin which lowers pain, reduces anxiety, and inhibits cortisol
5. Scream.
It triggers endorphins, the expelling of oxygen can cause a post-scream high, and it's an easy way to push out anger from your body.
6. Run.
It releases endorphins and mimics the 'running away' part of the fight/flight response, tricking your body into thinking you're getting away from danger.
7. Shake.
It helps release muscular tension, burns adrenaline, and decreases cortisol.
8. Cold plunge.
Cold exposure releases norepinephrine and dopamine while also stimulating the vagus nerve which together cause a feeling of calmness and wellbeing.
Which one are you going to try? Share it to social media and tag me @follow.your.gut.nutrition
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