How many times have you sworn off certain foods, only to binge on them within the week?

How many times have you gone overboard on dessert and thought to yourself, “I’ll do better when…

(I have more time, work calms down, the kids go back to school, the holidays are over, etc).”

How many times have you eaten one thing “off plan”, gotten down on yourself about it, and said “fuck it” the rest of the day, week, or even month?

It’s a hard, horrible cycle to break. It is a mentally exhausting, shame-riddled loop that can feel next to impossible to get out of.

But you can get out of it.

The problem is most people think this is a food problem or a willpower problem. It is neither. Committing to a new diet and mustering up all your mental strength are not going to get you anywhere here.

This is a perspective problem and it requires a perspective shift if you’re ever going to conquer it.

But how? How do you quiet that gnarly part of the brain that just keeps bringing you back to “fuck it, I’ll start again on Monday.”

First we have to understand there are 2 parts of the brain. The DMN (default mode network) and the CEN (the central executive network).

Side note: No I’m not that smart, the neuroscience stuff comes from the book Rewire by Dr. Nicole Vignola.

The DMN is responsible for your default way of thinking and this pattern you have thinks the DMN is the hottest spot in town. It hangs out there ready to play the same song again and again on repeat until the day you die.

The CEN on the other hand is responsible for more conscious thoughts and it’s where we have to start when it comes to creating new thought patterns, new beliefs, and new habits until they (over time) migrate over to the DMN where they can finally kick out the old pattern and play a new song.

Generally speaking, the DMN and CEN act like a seesaw. When one goes up, the other drops down. So if we want to get out of the autopilot loop that keeps bringing us back to a place of ‘fuck it’ we need to stimulate the CEN and deactivate the DMN as much as possible.

We can do this 3 main ways on our own:

1. Meditate.
2. Get out in nature.
3. Engage in external tasks that require our full attention.

The first 2 are pretty self explanatory. But let’s talk about the last one. Yesterday I finished lunch and really wanted some ice cream. Normally I wouldn’t think twice about just grabbing some and moving on, but I had Friendsgiving coming up that night and knew I didn’t need that much sugar in one day.

Instead of trying to control myself and just not eat the ice cream - which would have likely been overpowered by my DMN at some point - I told myself I could have it, but I had to write my instagram post for the day first.

In creating that post and engaging in this task that required my full attention, my CEN was activated and that DMN desire to have something sweet after a meal diminished.

Now that we understand how the DMN and CEN work in shaping our thoughts and behaviors, we can really put it to use for the original task I laid out. The key to your salvation from the fuck it loop. Shifting perspective.

We’re going to do this in 3 steps.

1. Identify the unhelpful thoughts/beliefs that are driving this pattern and where they came from.

Think about the thoughts and beliefs that tend to precede you throwing your hands up with your diet.

Do you believe certain foods are bad or should be off limits? Do you believe you’re bad if you eat certain foods? Do you think certain foods make you fat? Do you think you can and should be perfect with your diet to see results?

Now ask yourself where those beliefs came from. Remember, all of these thoughts you have that are sabotaging you are not the capital T Truth. A belief is just a thought you’ve had enough times to believe it’s true, and you’ve probably been having these thoughts for years.

But they aren’t based in reality (if they were, anyone who ate carbs would be overweight), and they aren’t yours. They were given to you by someone. Who was it? When you see clearly who it came from (and maybe it’s multiple people, or magazines, or tv shows, or social media accounts), it’s a lot easier to set down or give it back

2. Recognize the negative thoughts and beliefs when they arise.

Instead of letting unhelpful thoughts run a muck in your brain, get in the habit of checking them at the door. Think about it like a bouncer, deciding what thoughts make it through and what thoughts need to be turned away.

Mind you, this is not about blind positivity.

We aren’t suppressing any negative thought that comes our way. It’s actually incredibly important to process negative emotions; allowing them, sitting with them, processing them, and releasing them. We’re just using the bouncer to turn away the thoughts that are keeping us stuck in negative behavior patterns.

For example, a sad thought about missing our friend who just moved? Come on in, we’ll give you a hug. A mean and untrue thought about how all carbs make us fat? Kick it to the curb.

3. Reframe the negative thoughts and beliefs.

It isn’t enough to turn away these toxic notions. If we really want to rewire our brain and break the fuck it cycle for good, we have to choose a different lens to see ourselves and our diets through.

So when those little DMN bullies in our brain try to rear their ugly heads, we need to intentionally replace them by activating our CEN and choosing a new viewpoint. Every time we do that we help our brain create a new perspective that allows us to finally enjoy treats in moderation.

No guilt, no shame, no scale backlash.

A few examples of this might be…

• X food will make me fat —> If that was true, everyone who ate that food would be fat.
• I never can have dessert without going overboard —> Think about a time you did eat dessert without going overboard.
• I failed. I’ll never get this right. —> I’m learning. I’ll get there if I keep going.
• The day is ruined, I’ll start again Monday. —> I feel bad right now, but I can make myself feel better with my next choice.
• I want to lose weight, so I shouldn’t eat cookies. —> Allowing cookies will make me feel less deprived and will stop me from binging later, thereby actually helping me lose weight sustainably.
• I binged. I’m never letting myself have chocolate again. —> I had a moment of indulgence but this doesn’t define me. This experience helps me understand my cravings better, and I’ll take it as an opportunity to grow.

So there you have it, 3 steps to changing your mindset to break out of full fuck it jail: figure out where your negative beliefs come from, catch them in the act, and reframe reframe reframe.

I may say this simply, but I know from experience this isn’t as easy as 1, 2, 3. It takes time to rewire your brain. You’re fighting years of deeply ingrained programming.

Which is why I want to give you more actionable tools, accountability, encouragement, and a clear path forward to help you quit with this whole diet perfection thing that has you starting over again, and again, and again.

Imagine being able to keep ice cream in your freezer without wanting to eat the whole thing to get it back out of your house so you can go back to being ‘good’.

Imagine eating a few cookies and walking away without feeling deprived or shameful.

Imagine trusting yourself around all foods.

Imagine finally busting through that weight loss plateau because those overeating spells have finally stopped.

Imagine true food freedom.

That is what I’m going to help you achieve inside The Club with our New Year Challenge (name TBD).

Why am I mentioning this so early? Because for one more week you can get 35% off an entire year inside The Club by using code BLACKFRIDAYCLUB at checkout.

That means for just $19/month you’ll not only join us in this life-changing live challenge, you’ll get immediate access to all of my nutrition programs covering the gamut of health topics: hormonal weight, gut health, cravings, emotional eating, and more.

You’ll get messenger support from me and other Club members throughout the year, kind of like having a coach in your pocket you can turn to any time you’re struggling.

You’ll get a library of insanely delicious, shockingly easy recipes (that I’m always adding to by the way) to make sure you never feel deprived on this journey.

And you’ll get extended podcast episodes with bonus tips and tricks to help you actually implement and see results (for example today I'll be sharing the simple daily exercise I taught my client that significantly speeds up the process of changing your relationship with food.).

All you need to do to sign up at the discounted price is click here and use code BLACKFRIDAYCLUB at checkout or email me at [email protected] with your questions.

You can also click here to check out my other Black Friday deals for personal training and free functional labs.

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