Episode 253: Your 7-Step Survival Guide for a Peaceful Thanksgiving
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Thanksgiving is 2 days away. And while in an ideal world it’ll be a beautiful day where your family comes together, shares laughs, plays games, and makes wonderful memories, for many this is a time of stress, triggers, suppressed frustration, and emotional eating.
If your experience is closer to the latter, I want you to walk away from this episode with some tools that will allow you to take control where you can, and let go of the rest.
In the days leading up to Thanksgiving: set boundaries.
Send out a kind but firm text communicating what topics are off limits in order to make the day as enjoyable and stress-free as possible. Most of us know exactly what fights are likely to break out during the holidays.
Maybe it’s politics (a particularly intense hot button issue this year), maybe it’s commenting on each other’s weight/food choices, maybe it’s your marital status (or lack thereof). Regardless, set the expectation that those are not welcome topics and that the priority this year is peace.
Chances are good everyone knows the dynamics at play and may even be relieved to hear certain subjects are off the table.
If you want the copy-and-paste text I wrote for my Club members to use, click here to join for just $19/month using code BLACKFRIDAYCLUB at checkout.
In the morning: Set the tone with one healthy choice.
A client recently told me she feels like she makes much better choices throughout the day when she prioritizes a healthy breakfast. She’s onto something. Our brain doesn’t like cognitive dissonance, it likes consistency.
So if you start the day with a healthy breakfast (including fiber, fat, and a full protein), not only are you minimizing the chances for overindulging out of hunger later, you’re setting yourself up to make better choices because your brain wants to stay in alignment with that initial action.
While cooking: Keep your menu simple.
So much of the stress we encounter during the holidays is from pressure we put on ourselves. We sometimes forget that we actually have choices. We don’t have to do things x way just because that’s how we’ve always done it.
Case and point, my family is making chicken this year. The turkey is always a pain in the ass to make, no one really likes it, it takes forever to cook, and it almost never comes out quite right. So we’re ditching tradition to lessen the load. We also picked just a couple of sides that we really love. And we’re buying gluten and dairy free pumpkin pie from unrefined.
No one says it has to be an 18 course meal. And no one says every single morsel has to be made from scratch.
I shared my exact menu and the recipes we used inside The Club, click here to join for just $19/month using code BLACKFRIDAYCLUB at checkout.
When stress hits: ground yourself with some breathing and tapping, preferably in a ‘safe space’.
Chances are good, even with proper boundaries set, you’re going to get triggered at some point. This is the perfect opportunity to practice some self-regulation techniques instead of being reactive.
If you can before the day even starts, create a little sanctuary for yourself you can escape to. Maybe it’s just a matter of making your bed, laying out a snuggly throw, and leaving a pitcher of water with chopped up fruit in it to have a space you can come to when things get heated.
Go to your safe space, do a few rounds of double inhales (inhale twice through your nose, filling your lungs at the top, hold for a second, and exhale slowly through your mouth), while simultaneously crossing your arms over your body and tapping your shoulders right to left.
Can’t escape? Tap your thighs with your hands right to left under the table while focusing on your breathing.
During the meal: eat slowly and mindfully.
With high emotions and after a long day of cooking, it’s easy to shut the brain off and scarf when meal time finally comes. Resist the urge. Take a few breaths before you start eating, use all 5 senses to enjoy your food, chew, notice the taste and texture, set your fork down. You worked hard to make this meal. Savor every minute of it and do your best to honor your body’s fullness cues.
After the meal: take a walk.
While your go-to routine may be to plop on the couch and take a nap after your meal, save that for after a little post-dinner walk. Not only will it help you feel less bloated after your meal by helping with digestion, it’ll help reduce the blood sugar spike that usually accompanies a meal of mashed potatoes, stuffing, sweet potatoes, rolls, and the like.
Not an option? Find a quiet space for a bit of light stretching and shaking out your body to release energy from the day.
After the fact: Freeze your leftovers.
Do not spend the next 3 days mainlining leftovers in an attempt to ‘get them out of your house’ so you can go back to healthy eating. Use Thanksgiving as a giant meal prep day and freeze what you have left so you can use it on nights you don’t feel like cooking.
Remember, carbs don’t make you fat. Dessert doesn’t make you fat. They only make you fat when you overeat them because you’re trying to get rid of them, because you don’t think you should have them, or because you don’t trust yourself around them.
My hope for you is that this episode gave you some new tools, some good reminders, and maybe even just permission to protect your peace this year.
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